stephenmorgan
The first thing that we need to take into consideration
when we not considering this object is not very little scientific
data exists on it. No statistics on courses and risks of divorce
are really collected. Whether this has anything to do with not
wanting to tempt fate etc. it just isn't collected.
Most people would counter this allegation by saying
that grounds for breakup have to be filed with the divorce documents
and call when a divorce is instigated by one of the things that
has been found is that quite often actual course of the divorce
are not the same as the so-called grounds for divorce.
The other thing about divorce is that sadly most
people make it up as they go along unless you happen to be a serial
divorcee in which case your attitude in subsequent divorces will
be influenced by your earlier experiences.
I you are you looking for a way to ensure that
your marriage will not end up in divorce? Unfortunately there
is no such guarantee. However, there is of course statistics that
are taken from exhaustive research from thousands of divorced
couples. For example, below are potential “risk” factors
that may contribute to a marriage heading for divorce:
* Having a personality tendency to react strongly
or defensively to problems and disappointments in life
* Having divorced parents.
* Living together prior to marriage.
* Being previously divorced, yourself or your partner.
* Having children from a previous marriage.
* Having different religious backgrounds.
* Marrying at a very young age (for example, at the age of eighteen
or nineteen; the average these days is about twenty-five or twenty-six
years of age for first marriages).
* Knowing each other for only a short time before marriage.
* Experiencing financial hardship.
There is something very important about this list
that we'd like you to notice: once a couple is married, they can
do nothing to directly lower any of these risks. These are called
static risks because they are relatively unchangeable. Reflecting
on these factors can be useful in understanding how much risk
the two of you may have, but there is little you can do to change
any of these - and certainly not quickly.
In contrast to the static factors shown in the
preceding list, there are risk factors that relate more directly
to how you treat one another, how you communicate, and how you
think about your relationship. We call these dynamic risk factors
because, although they do increase the risk that a couple won't
do well, they can all be changed with some thought and choice
and effort.
* Negative styles of talking and fighting with
each other, such as arguments that rapidly become negative, put-downs,
and the silent treatment.
* Difficulty communicating well, especially when you disagree.
* Trouble handling disagreements as a team.
* Unrealistic beliefs about marriage.
* Different attitudes about important things.
* A low level of commitment to one another, reflected in such
behavior as failing to protect your relationship from others you
are attracted to or failing to view your marriage as a long-term
investment.
* Not practicing faith together.
In general, higher levels of risk (due to either
static or dynamic factors) are particularly tied to greater difficulties
in handling problems and negative emotions well. For example,
studies suggest that people whose parents divorced are more likely
to come into marriage as adults with communication problems and
also a diminished belief or trust that their relationship can
work in the long term. In essence, even the static factors tend
to express themselves through the dynamic factors. All other things
being equal, the more static or dynamic risk factors you have,
the more likely you are to experience difficulties.
Article Directory: http://www.articlecube.com Stephen Morgan
writes about a number of issues and more information on the above
can be found at the following links:Divorce statistics ,Divorce
Rate and Divorce Lawyers
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