| David
Sandy
Divorce for everyone is a long and painful process.
Divorce does not only affect one aspect of your life, it affects
all of them. In some situations, there is apparently no option
other than divorce but religious or moral beliefs may prevent
abused or maltreated spouses from seeking legal counsel. This
is especially true for the Memphis lawyer who serves a fairly
conservative community. The legal alternatives to divorce come
mainly from the period before the easy availability of modern
divorce. They maintain basic duties of support and the status
of man and wife but relieve the spouses of the duty to live together
and serve to separate property interests. In Tennessee, remember,
in case of a divorce, all property acquired up to the time a divorce
is filed is usually considered marital property.
The first option for those trying to avoid divorce
is marriage counseling. While not a legal option, it should be
your first step if nothing else to ensure a clean conscience.
You may have considered this before, but simply concluded it would
not make a difference. Marriage counseling is effective because
it makes all the underlying issues of your marriage come to the
forefront. For counseling to work, you must evaluate your marriage
for improvement. You cannot realistically expect for a one time
30 minute counseling session to save your marriage. Instead, it
will take time, hard work, and dedication from each spouse to
commit to changing their lives for your marriage. Marriage counseling
can come from your pastor, family, friends, therapist, or other
counseling service dedicated to saving marriages.
The second option is annulment. Traditionally,
certain acts such as co-habitation, setting up households, or
being able to bear children were requirements before a marriage
ceremony created a valid marriage. So if you’ve realized
you made a bad decision, but are unable to seek a divorce for
a religious or moral reason, then immediately seek legal advice.
A divorce may not be necessary.
A third option is separation or divorce from bed
and board. The legal duties of fidelity remain. A legal separation
for two years without minor children gives the other party grounds
for divorce and a court may sua sponte order the parties divorce,
but if you cannot ask for a divorce, then this may be the only
option available to you. The legal issues of child custody, support,
and property can all be dealt with accordingly. A separation order
can be temporary or permanent.
A fourth option is an order of protection. Unfortunately,
in Memphis these are granted in the inferior general sessions
criminal court unless a divorce or perhaps a legal separation
is concurrently sought. This means support and custody issues
frequently are not dealt with at this stage. This is an effective
way to keep an abusive spouse away from the home without seeking
a formal divorce.
The important thing is to contact a Memphis lawyer
or a lawyer in the appropriate area who usually works with family
law issues. Most lawyers aren’t just divorce lawyers but
work with custody, adoption, and other family law issues. A good
family lawyer will always be willing to discuss alternatives keeping
your religious and moral preferences in mind.
The author David Sandy practices law including Memphis divorce
and publishes articles concerning divorce with a Memphis bent
at www.memphisdivorceblog.com .
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