Lance
Brown
Part one of "Christian Divorce" that
I wrote got a tremendous number of reads so I thought perhaps
I should expound a little further. As I said before I want to
encourage all believers out there that are going through the pain
and darkness of divorce. Having gone through divorce myself there
are a few things I can share here from my experience that I hope
are helpful.
1) You May Need To Change Your Circle Of Friends
Or Even Churches
One of the big things you are going to find out
is the church is mostly confused on how to handle the divorce
hot potato. When I say the church I am talking about the circle
of believers that are supposed to be there for you when hardship
comes in your life. You are about to find out most of your friends
won't be there for you.
If you can find anyone that you can lean on in
this time you are truly blessed. Sadly we like to shoot the wounded
and avoid anything that may be awkward. If you are the innocent
party in your divorce, and even if everybody in your church knows
that, don't expect anyone to treat you with grace and not judge
you unjustly. Chances are they will remove you from ministry of
any kind until this thing " blows over" which may be
years before it is resolved.
It will be hard finding a church that understands
that your righteousness is only because of what Jesus did and
not some holiness badge you earned that the church gives out.
Somehow you have to qualify by your good works to be in ministry
or hold any position in the church where people see you. Now if
you do have a good church that is totally mature I stand corrected
and by all means stay there and reach out. It is just that It
has been my experience that they are hard to find.
Meanwhile they have painted you with the divorce
brush even though you may be the innocent party. In any case if
this is your scenario it is probably best to consider changing
churches or even take a break for awhile. That way nobody can
put any flaky judgments on you. There is a big difference between
church doctrine and how Jesus handles this situation.
2) Learn to Pray and Hear God Daily
The best thing you can do right now is set aside
time daily to cast all your care on Jesus. The more you pray the
more you can speed the healing process. I guarantee you God is
totally close to you with comfort and counsel to give you hope
without any condemnation. Listen closely in your spirit and he
will talk to you in your prayer time.
All those court issues need not have power over
you to keep you awake at night if you are standing on the side
of righteousness. God upholds his word and he will fight for you
in court. It will turn your way if your spouse has lied and been
less than Christian about certain things.
This is a good time to listen for God's voice
as he will guide you and speak to the things you are feeling deeply
wounded about. The many hours I spent in prayer brought me revelation
of the things I felt cheated by and gave me new perspective. Work
out forgiveness towards your spouse. Time doesn't heal all wounds,
you and Jesus do. As a friend told me at the time " life
does get better" so hang in there.
Most importantly of all find and confess scriptures
that bring you hope. You need to confess God's word to your circumstance
and not your feelings. Do this out loud in your prayer time. "
The young lions do hunger and suffer lack but they that seek the
Lord lack no good thing " was one of my favorites but there
are lots more that are just as good.
Make Jesus your closest friend because he does
have the answers. Remember God is walking through this divorce
with you and he is wanting to unfold plan B seeing how plan A
didn't pan out. Your comments are welcome. God bless you.
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