James
Walsh
When two people meet each other, become friends
and fall in love, everything about the other person seems so perfect.
They relish every moment they spend with each other that they
decide to make it permanent and celebrate this beautiful union
in marriage. A few days later, the differences start to show,
a few months later the fights surface and a few years later they
wonder how they even fell in love in the first place. They start
to detest every moment they spend together and subsequently end
the relationship through divorce.
A common occurrence these days, make us wonder
if divorce is the only solution. The increasing divorce rates
in today’s society make us wonder, if they were able to
love the same person a few years ago, isn’t it possible
to fall in love with him again? In order to answer this question,
we need to first analyse the reasons why disenchantment sets in.
When Love Turns to Hatred
Men and women have so much in common yet they’re
so different from each other. Several studies have been done to
understand these differences and numerous books have been published
on this topic. What a man sees as significant may be of little
or no importance to a woman and vice versa.
If you were to give a group of men and women a
simple sentence and ask them what it means, chances are, every
man would come up with the same meaning. Each woman however would
interpret the same sentence in hundred different ways.
The list of differences between the sexes is endless.
These begin to show when two people get married and start living
together. There is a constant clash of interests and opinions.
When they don’t take any step to reconcile these differences,
it leads to a break-up. Difference of opinion being one, the other
major reasons for divorce could be adultery, financial stress
and abusive partners.
Exploring the Alternatives
Divorce is not the solution. The process of divorce
itself is more painful and taxing than being married. It’s
exhausting for both partners in terms of emotions, finance and
time. So even before you consider this, meet a marriage counsellor
and try to work out the differences. If it does not work, go in
for a separation so that you get a feel of how life would be without
your partner. Sometimes absence makes the heart grow fonder and
there may be chances of reconciliation.
In a separation, a mutual agreement is drafted
with the help of a solicitor regarding the custody of children,
sharing of financial assets and responsibilities, etc. This saves
the cost and time involved in divorce while providing an opportunity
to revive the relationship at your will. However, this option
rules out the immediate possibility of entering into a new relationship
and/or remarriage.
The Inevitable
If neither of you are interested in continuing
the relationship, even after a separation, then divorce is the
last resort. In order for the court to sanction a divorce, your
will have to establish one of the following:
- Adultery: Your need to prove that your spouse
has committed adultery and you have not lived with him/her for
more than six months, since you came to know about it.
- Unreasonable Behaviour: Your spouse had been
abusive towards you and/or has used drugs in the past six months
and you cannot tolerate them any longer.
- Desertion: Your spouse has deserted you without
a reasonable motive or explanation for more than two years.
- Two Years’ Separation: You and your
spouse have been separated for at least two years and your spouse
does not contest your decision for divorce.
- Five Years’ Separation: You have not
lived with your spouse for more than five years. This does not
require your spouse’s consent to your decision.
The process of divorce could drain you of energy
as well as finances. Needless to say, it should be the last option.
Even after deciding on a divorce, it is wise to reach an amicable
agreement with your spouse. Otherwise the process could take a
lot of time and the differences could breed discontent and unhappiness
for the entire family.
Article Directory: http://www.articlecube.com James Walsh is
a freelance writer and copy editor specialising in Divorce for
more information see www.quickie-divorce.com/
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