Karl
Augustine,
When making a divorce decision, there are quite
a few thingsthat you should consider. Too often people find themselvesunable
to clearly identify what they need to think about whenmaking a
divorce decision which leads to further indecision andfrustration.
When making a serious divorce decision, having anopen mind and
listing the things that will figure into yourdecision about divorce,
will help make the process a littlesimpler for you.
The things to consider when deciding about divorce
variessomewhat from person to person, but here is a list of the
mostcommon items to contemplate:
Divorce Decision Item 1: Making sure that you
are emotionallyready to go through with a decision.
Not being really ready to decide about whether
to get a divorcebecause of emotional uncertainty will be a serious
obstacle ifyou let your emotions cloud your ability to reason
or use logic.People often fear making a tough decision and there
are manyreasons why people don't ever get around to actually making
adivorce decision, which is often one of the toughest decisionsto
make in life. If you aren't ready to handle the emotionalpain
of what could be a "life changing" event like decidingabout
divorce, wait until you can before going through yourdivorce decision
making process.
Divorce Decision Item 2: Making sure that the
reasons fordivorce that you've listed regarding why you think
you want adivorce are indeed valid.
Too often people make the mistake of wanting to
get a divorce(or thinking they want to get a divorce) for unviable
reasons.This comes from being wrapped up with the idea of being
hurt andfocusing on one's self rather than separating the actual
eventsfrom the end results.
Yes, it is very tough to elevate your thinking
and be seeminglyautonomous to your own situation...in fact, it
is oftenimpossible to do. But, if you can look at your situation
withsomeone else in your place, and then go through your divorcedecision
making process, you'll be closer to the real answerthat you want.
Divorce Decision Item 3: Understanding that your
sense ofself-confidence, ability to be 'self sustaining' with
financesor other material things, and desire to 'start over' are
allunwavering.
This mix of considerations about divorce can be
overpowering forsome people when they try to 'break away' or make
the decisionabout getting a divorce. Simply, these 'things to
think about'intertwine and affect each other directly. Self-confidence
isessential to being able to make a lucid divorce decision, andyour
level of self-confidence can easily be changed (for betteror worse)
instantly. If this is the case, you should reallyre-think whether
you're ready to make a divorce decision andfollow through with
it.
A lot of time, women in divorce situations have
to deal withfinance issues and they fear going out on their own
becausethey've had financial support previously. Still, the fear
oflosing finances or material things is not gender specific by
anymeans...men and women alike need to decide if they are ready
togo through financial loss to improve their lives if they feel
adivorce will do so. Logic will lead you to the fact thatfinances
shouldn't be the only piece of your divorce decisioneven though
it usually figures in...as to what level financesfigure into your
divorce decision, will depend on you and whatyou deem important.
If your overall confidence and desire to start
over with yourlove life support making a change, you're off to
a good start inmaking a smart decision about whether to divorce
or not.
Divorce Decision Item 4: Determining who else
your divorcedecision will affect and how much weight that carries
in yourdecision making formula about divorce.
This item to consider when thinking about divorce
is one of theprimary things that can lead a person to a decision,
one way oranother. Even though it can have serious negative repercussions,selfless
people will take into account everyone else who will beaffected
by a serious change like getting a divorce...it isfundamental
portion of the overall process of making a smartdivorce decision.
Children, in-laws, common friends, etc., allwill be affected by
what you do regarding your action as aresult of you truly answering
the question, "Should I Get ADivorce?".
When making your decision about staying married
or gettingdivorced, you should look to the future and decide whether
yourdecision will improve or decrease your quality of life and
thequality of life of those that will be affected. The number
onereason given by people who want to get divorced but don't gothrough
with it, stems from the fear that others will sufferfrom the divorce.
Be very careful when assessing thissituation...make sure that
you use logic and not emotion whenevaluating your thoughts.
Making a divorce decision is a serious and difficult
taskbecause it is complex, deeply self-reflective, and frighteningdue
to the length of time it can affect you and others. Makesure that
you have your thoughts organized and prioritized andyou take your
time in making a decision.
About the author:Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding
Whether Or Not To Get ADivorce", the eBook recommended by
counselors to thier clients.Proven "Actions Items" to
help you decide! Get FREE Chapters!
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