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Parenting though divorce brings about feelings
of doubt and concern at times due to the lack of control and information
about what happens when children are with the other parent. There
is a desire to find out about everything that takes place at the
other parent's house. Many times, the curiosity extends beyond
the children and into the personal life of the former spouse.
Your children are not informants and should not
be questioned for information about activities or relationships
of the other parent. Show an interest in the activities your children
are willing to openly discuss with you without excessive questioning.
Showing no interest in your children's activities while spending
time with your ex-spouse sends the message that you do not approve
of your children maintaining a close relationship with the other
parent, which will lead to guilt and loyalty conflicts. Your opinions
regarding your ex-spouse and their new mate should remain positive
or neutral to allow your children to feel as if they are a part
of both families. The time spent with either parent should be
viewed by everyone as time that should be enjoyed. It is crucial
for the children to feel that everyone is trying to love them.
The key issue here is having respect for everyone
concerned. It is far better to take the high road and give your
ex the advantage of the doubt. Believing that they care as much
about the health, happiness, safety and welfare of your child
as you do. Handle the relationship as you would a business one.
If your business partner is ten minutes late or has to reschedule
due to another appointment or a last minute argument it is highly
unlikely that you will make a disapproving comment. Do the same
with the parent of your children.
Article Directory: http://www.articlecube.com Susan Woodard ,
M.S., LMFT is the author and owner of the court approved Positive
Parenting Through Divorce workbook. She is a Licensed Marriage
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