Surviving
divorce can be a valid fear if you're contemplating getting a
divorce. In order to ensure surviving divorce, you should first
understand that your divorce decision shouldn't be taken lightly.
Ensuring that you'll be surviving divorce can be comforting and
can influence your path as you consider your reasons for divorce
and take the emotional plunge into actually going through with
it.
Its tough enough to think about how your immediate
life will be impacted by getting a divorce let alone thinking
about divorce from an aspect of "the aftermath" of divorce.
You may be considering a variety of things in the short term including
living arrangements, spouse's schedules, attorneys, kids, property,
etc. Its tough to plan so you can really ensure that you'll be
surviving divorce once its finally over with.
Surviving divorce, just like deciding to divorce,
is about separating emotion from logic and making sure you think
about the past, present and future.
Of course, how you plan for surviving divorce,
will differ from others in some respects, but there are some common
themes to think about that should ensure you will be successful
surviving divorce.
The most common things to think about when you
want to be successful surviving divorce are self-evident and basic,
but highly important:
Surviving Divorce Concept 1: Reflect on the past
to make sure you can eliminate potential regret.
Make sure that you take the time to reflect on
the past and remember the reasons that got you to this state of
mind. One thing you absolutely must avoid is going through a divorce
and regretting your decision. Evaluate, in detail, your reasons
for divorce and confirm to yourself yet again that divorce is
the best course of action. This will help eliminate regret...and
regret can be a large factor in determining your chance of surviving
divorce.
Surviving Divorce Concept 2: Admit to yourself
that, no matter how your situation got to this breaking point
of wanting divorce, that you had a hand in it, and plan to improve
yourself.
Even if you know your present spouse is not a
good fit for you, be smart enough to know that you shouldn't waste
the opportunity that you have right now to improve yourself, for
your own good in the future.
At a time like this when emotions are running
high, there tends to be a lot of soul searching going on, and
that's a good thing if you want to ensure that you've got a solid
chance of surviving divorce. Realize that you need to improve
for you, this will only help you in the future. Remember, it takes
two to tango!
Surviving Divorce Concept 3: Remember that your
happiness and plan for surviving divorce should include evaluating
and establishing a certain level of self-confidence.
Having self confidence is absolutely critical to surviving divorce
because without it, fear usually will win out and your situation
will not improve. Even if you get divorced but you don't evaluate
your own level of self confidence in the hopes of improving it,
you may be in for a rough time after divorce.
If you want a sure-fire way to feel good about
surviving divorce, do yourself a favor and get your self-confidence
in line.
If your overall confidence and desire to start
over with your love life support making a change, you're off to
a good start in making a smart decision about whether to divorce
or not.
Surviving Divorce Concept 4: Get your finances
in a row and understand that your life will change most likely
from a monetary perspective.
This is a major portion of the surviving divorce equation, especially
for women in divorce. A lot of time, women in divorce situations
have to deal with finance issues and they fear going out on their
own because they've had financial support previously. Still, this
concept is not gender specific and can resonate with anyone because,
one some level, your life will change financially as a result
of divorce...that's a guarantee. In order to make sure your chance
at surviving divorce is high, you need to be willing to trade
potential financial loss to get a divorce.
If you're willing to do this, maybe you're ready
to really take the big step.
Surviving Divorce Concept 5: Understand the true
value of using "projection" to ensure surviving divorce.
This is a terrific exercise to go through when you're faced with
a divorce decision and want to ensure you've got a great chance
of surviving divorce. "Projection" simply means looking
to the future and actually imagining what your life will be like
once you're divorced. And, if you're smart, you'll see multiple
scenarios of what your life will become after divorce and you'll
be able to pin down which factors lead to each one of those scenarios.
Then, choose the scenario you'd like to actually live, and take
the necessary steps needed to implement those factors.
This one of the most important practices to ensure
that you're chances of surviving divorce are high.
Surviving divorce is a difficult thing but it
can easily be accomplished if you plan, reflect, think, and execute
based on your own goals and needs. .
Karl Augustine Author, "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether
Or Not To Get A Divorce". *A resource recommended by marriage
counselors to their clients. http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/survivingdivorce.htm
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