James
Walsh
Does the thought of going through your divorce
scare you? Do you feel the divorce could rip you off your fortune
and drain you emotionally? Have you noticed that the cohabitation
rate is increasing in proportion with the divorce rate in our
country? The fear of going through a divorce proceeding is so
immense that today people prefer to live with their partners outside
of marriage. Although, there are cases of divorces involving dreadful
courtroom battles, your divorce need not necessarily be an ugly
one.
Tips for a Hassle - Free Divorce
Even, if your marriage has broken down irreversibly,
yet the thought of separation could cause pain to the divorcing
couple at least to a little extent. With proper planning and careful
initiative, you could avoid adding any further grievance by parting
ways amicably.
Here are a few tips that could help you handle
your divorce more practically and prevent you from ending your
marriage on a bitter note.
Facing the Reality: When your spouse informs his decision to divorce
you, it could cause severe emotional turbulence, especially when
you have least expected it. It is quite natural to feel betrayed
and you might develop anger and turn vindictive. However, nothing
could be changed by your anger. Discuss your problems openly and
convince your spouse to consult a marriage counselor, as a last
step towards making your marriage work. However, if things fail
to work out, divorce might be the only solution and you need to
come in terms with reality.
Going through Divorce: It would not be easy to
forgive your spouse for deciding to end the marriage. However,
by being angry with him, you would be ruining your peace of mind
and the frequent confrontations could jeopardise your child’s
future. So, try to get professional assistance from a counselor
to get over your anger and frustration. Try to maintain friendly
relationship with your spouse in the best interests of your child.
Sorting Out the Finances: This is the most difficult
part in a divorce and most of the times it gives way to courtroom
battles. Especially, when divorce is the result of adultery, the
spouse considers it rightful to claim a major portion of the partner’s
property as a compensation for cheating and being responsible
for breakdown of marriage. While the other person is unwilling
to share his hard earned money, the couple begin court proceedings
and leading to huge legal bills. Also, by taking time away for
the court proceedings, they are unable to concentrate in their
professional lives or take time to pacify their children. It also
causes bitter feelings between the divorcing couple.
In such circumstances no matter in whose favour the verdict is
pronounced, it is a no-win situation for the couple. Also, when
they are not able to reach an agreement, the court makes a final
decision. Is it not better to separate the finances depending
upon your individual likes and dislikes rather than having someone
else decide it for you?
When you are unable to decide on splitting your
belongings, you could probably sell them off and divide the money
equally. While deciding on the finances, sufficient allowances
need to be made for the custodial parent. In case you are not
able to reach mutual consensus, you could seek professional assistance
and mediate to reach an agreement without having to spend a major
fortune towards your attorney’s bills.
Child Custody: A child needs the love and care of both the parents.
When you decide to restrict the visitation of the other parent,
it would be a punishment for your child for a mistake that they
have not committed. Joint parenting is the best option for the
divorcing couple. There have been a lot of surveys conducted on
divorce and child custody. Most of the surveys reveal that children
are the most affected when they do not have the love of both the
parents.
So, clearly chalk down all the arrangement regarding your child
custody and make sure you stick to it. Avoid fighting in front
of your children. Make them feel that your love towards them have
not been affected in a way due to your divorce. All this can ensure
a happy life after divorce for you as well as your children.
The Final Word
When you are under stress and distressed during
your divorce proceedings, it might be difficult for you to reach
an amicable agreement. So, instead of rejecting a prenuptial agreement
as unromantic, a couple could draw the agreement even before their
marriage. While a marriage helps you to celebrate love, a prenup
helps you to maintain friendly relationship with your loved one
even after a separation.
James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. For more information
on getting a Divorce see www.quickie-divorce.com
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