| mark321
Dating is tough for everybody, but it is even
tougher for people who are divorced and widowed. Along with the
fears of being “out of practice,” there are often
children’s feelings to consider. How can a single mother
or a bereaved woman enjoy a new romance when dating without lying
awake at night worrying about doing emotional damage to her children?
It depends on the individual, but anyone going
through a divorce should wait at least six months to one year
before even considering dating someone new because a person needs
time to heal before putting herself back on the market. Some newly
divorced or widowed people jump into dating to have new relationships
too early because they are afraid of being alone. That is a great
blunder. Dating after the death of a husband or partner is also
not recommended for at least one full year or two years is even
better because the grieving process should never be rushed. Other
matters of consideration before dating include waiting until estate
matters have been handled, i.e., insurance matters, review of
the will, and the assignment of an executor. A stressful new relationship
is not recommended during this emotional time .
A woman can consider what she hopes for in a new
relationship when dating and let go of the past in the process.
Bereaved women on dating should remember that she will lose everything
that is existing if she takes a wrong decision in her new relationship
in haste.The first three months of a relationship is the honeymoon
period, where everything is fresh and exciting. After around six
months, the couple tends to relax and the original natures start
displaying. A woman gets to see what she is really dealing with
before she introduces her new beau to her children.Otherwise,the
children will inevitably feel another loss if she decides after
dating him for 4 months that the relationship is going nowhere.
She must proceed further in dating when she finds out that his
goals , his values and beliefs are consistent with hers.She must
agree to date further when she sees that he knows to respect the
feelings of others.
Once a woman decides to start dating, she should
explain it to each of her children in an age-appropriate manner
so that
the children understand that Mom is still Mom,which is critical,
and do not feel neglected but they will also see that she is
happier. They will slowly make the adjustment that they may soon
share her with somebody else who is going to take care
of both of them.
Article written by Mark Jones.
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