| Cameron
Teone
So, you're single once again after a bitter divorce.
How do you attract women? Where do you start?
Being in the single pool once again can be a tough
scanario for many divorced men. It's unfamiliar territory and
it's a little frightening.
In part of 1 this article, I discussed the first
5 steps you must take in order to break through this mindset and
start dating, and more importantly ENJOY being single once again.
Here we go with the next 5 steps:
***STEP 6- Have a game plan***
When you actually meet women that you find attractive,
what will you do? What are you going to say and how are you going
to do this? If you are one of the guys who is completely at a
loss for words, you may want to invest in yourself by reading
a couple of books, attending seminars or workshops.
This requires you to leave your ego at the door,
as it's no different than deciding to hire a personal fitness
trainer at your gym. If you don't know what you're doing, find
guys who are proficient at it, seek their advice, and model what
they do.
In my seminars and workshops, I have encountered
all sorts of men, single and divorced, from office workers to
engineers to doctors. If you leave your ego at the door, you'll
start getting the results you want.
Regardless of whom you go to for advice, please
seek advice that produces results. This leads me to a subsection
of step 6.
Avoid poor advice. Please, stay away from the
Dr. Phil and dear Abbey dating advice that will make you want
to hang yourself. If that type of advice has ever worked for you,
then please, by all means go for it. In my experience, that sort
of advice leaves guys worse than when it found them. Enough said
on this one.
***STEP 7-Excommunicate the ex***
Never ever complain about your marriage or your
ex. I don't care if your ex was a demon who crawled out of the
depths of hell to torment you, do not mention her!
Do not talk about her. Please! See a professional
therapist of some sort to work out your angry feeling towards
her. She is not topic for discussion with women you date. This
is a classic mistake men repeat.
I know you're upset and I know the temptation
to badmouth here is great. However, you ought to realize that
when you're doing this, your ex-wife is still controlling your
life as she is costing you dates, mates, and peace of mind, because
you are allowing her to consume your thoughts.
STOP allowing her to run your life.
I feel silly for having to even write this, but
I have come across such a plethora of men who seem determined
to shoot themselves in the foot by discussing their ex too quickly.
You can share a few humorous anecdotes once you
have been dating your new mate for a period of time (if you really
insist on this). (I said a few, like twice a year).
Instead of focusing on the negative, focus on
the positive.
Most people understand that divorce is a bitter
experience and there is no need for you to elaborate on this.
And seriously, how can you enjoy a GREAT time
with this new person you're spending time with, when you're recalling
bad memories and negative emotions from the last person you were
with? Let her go out of your mind.
***STEP 8 *Do not jump into another relationship
immediately***
At this point, full-fledged relationships may
resonate with you because they present that sense of familiarity.
Again, it's like the old guy who wanted to go back to the Shawshank
prison because as horrible as the situation was, it made sense.
(note: I am not saying marriage is like a prison, even if some
of my divorced friends would argue that case.)
What I am saying is this: If you were divorced
a few months ago after a lengthy marriage, you probably are not
ready to jump into another super serious relationships. You need
to give yourself time to heal.
Go out and date a few different women. Don't compare
each woman to your ex. I don't care if your ex-wife could convert
water into wine; it's over with. Apparently, it was really crappy
wine, because you didn't want to say.
Having fun ought to be part of your focus. Again,
It is essential to start surrounding yourself with men who genuinely
like to go out and have a good time. If you're hanging out with
guys who resemble the disheveled weatherbeaten looking members
of Al Bundy's no-mam club who like to bitch and snivel, you're
going to be surrounded in that negative energy. Befriend people
who are positive.
***STEP 9- Fix up your pad, pal***
Create an environment that is conducive to entertaining
female guests. It doesn't matter if you lost the house in the
settlement. Whatever! Where ever you're living now ought to look
presentable. I could easily write another lengthy article on what
would create a home that is female-friendly.
For a start, make sure it's clean, paying extra
attention to the bathroom and the kitchen. If your bathroom looks
like it's hosting species of organisms not yet recognized by modern
science, you're shooting yourself in the foot. Clean up the place
even if it takes paying a housekeeper.
***STEP 10 *Be comfortable with the fact that
you have kids***
Again, this goes back to attitude! I can't tell
you how many guys are so worried about the fact that they have
kids.
Listen, will there be some women who won't be
interested in a relationship because of your kids? Yes, but there
will be MANY who will be fine with it. I know guys who have girlfriend
10 year younger, who happen to have a few kids.
Is that weird? No.
In fact, I am now going to share something that
is going to be some of the most invaluable dating advice you'll
ever receive in your life:
*It's only weird if you think it's weird*
If you think it's weird, you will have created
limiting beliefs that will control your behavior accordingly.
If you let go of that belief, you will realize that there is no
truth in it. You'll realize it's something that is a generalization
that you created in your heard based upon unsound ideas
Destroy the limiting belief and create a new one,
a new belief that says it's possible to date attractive and interesting
women regardless of if you have kids, and regardless of if you
are divorced.
Whether you are divorced or are divorced with
kids, there are plenty of single women who will date you. There
are a lot of guys who are doing this already. You can do it as
well. It's important to know what attract women and the responsibility
falls on you to present your most attractive self.
I strongly recommend you read part 1 of this article. Implement
the 10 steps and notice how your dating life and attitude will
change.Wishing you the best, Cameron Teone - Copyright (c) 2007
Cameron Teone Article Directory: http://www.articlecube.com Cameron
Teone conducts dating workshops and seminars all around the country.
He specializes in teaching men how to date and attract desirable
women. You can learn more here, Successful Dating Tips
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