Belinda
Rachman, Esq.
Unfortunately half of all marriages end in divorce.
If there is nothing else to be done to save the marriage, at least
end it with as much dignity and fairness while keeping as much
control as possible. When a couple has children or significant
assets it is vital to work together in order to protect yourselves
and your children. The legal system is designed for litigation
and if each of you hires your own attorney, the fees and bad feelings
can get out of control. Couples who divorce by using mediation
instead of litigation, save so much more than just money, you
are saving your co-parenting relationship. Ending a marriage is
painful enough without adding the bitterness that comes from a
court fight. If you think the divorcing couple suffers, put yourselves
in the shoes of the children. The extreme tension that is created
by court fights will be impossible to hide from your kids. You
will never be comfortable co-parenting with your ex after a bloody
battle in court. Divorce mediation is the best alternative for
rational people whose goal is to get out without hurting each
other. Some people really do want to fight. They don't mind spending
all their money as long as it means the other person won't get
it. Mediation wouldn't be satisfying for someone with that kind
of agenda. If the idea of saving as much money as you can while
staying out of court sounds good to you than you owe it to yourself
to explore mediation. I am sure you will be glad you worked together
when you see how peaceful a divorce can be. It may sound strange
that a divorce can be peaceful since most people associate divorce
with hiring separate attorneys and doing legal battle, but my
own practice proves that is not the case. When the mediator is
a lawyer, they do all the paperwork necessary to start and complete
the divorce as well as answering all your legal questions, helping
you negotiate a settlement and drafting the Marital Settlement
Agreement. Use an attorney who has a powerful intention to complete
the process, instead of dragging it out to line their own pockets.
With half of all marriages ending in divorce you have heard the
stories of lawyers who walk away with more of the assets than
their clients. Children of a nasty divorce know how torn they
feel between their parents. No loving parent would want their
children to experience such a thing. As in all areas of your life,
the choices you make will determine the outcome. If you go down
the adversarial road the outcome is fairly certain. There will
be "winners" and "losers" and the accompanying hard feelings.
It will be expensive, not only financially but emotionally. The
better choice is to work together to end your marriage instead
of dragging each other through the courts. As the child of divorce,
let me assure you that the best gift you can give your children
is a "good" divorce because the alternative really hurts!
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Ms. Rachman has been a family law attorney since 1996 and has
become so disheartened by our adversarial legal system that she
walked away from a successful law practice and now only works
with couples doing mediation. To listen to an audio program that
goes into more detail how mediation differs from litigation, go
towww.divorce-inaday.com
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