| Alex
Ellorde
When two people are in love, all that seems to
occupy their thoughts is the desire to share the rest of their
lives together. This romantic notions often lead to the altar,
and eventually to having children. Marriage is traditionally considered
a bond bound in heaven, a contract between two people who commit
to stay together “...through thick and thin, through sickness
and in health.”
Having their own family becomes the next greatest
blessing that may even be seen as more joyous than the actual
wedding. As a family, they share life together, with all it joys,
sorrows, and everything in between. The enjoyment of each other's
company becomes the hallmark of their family.
But due to unfortunate events, some marriages
do not last forever. Some fairy tales do not end with “happily
ever after.” It is a fact that many couples do have differences
that later turn out to be irreconcilable. Rather than endlessly
be stuck in marital discord, some feuding couples see separation,
annulment, or divorce as the only solution to end their fractured
relationship.
Many marriages end up in divorce because when
two people get married, they do so without thinking of the enormous
responsibilities and challenges that come with the marital contract.
The sheer number of drive-in marriage booths in Las Vegas clearly
point out the rather low regard people place in the institution
of marriage. How would you like an Elvis impersonator officiate
in exchanging your vows? Many people actually got married that
way in Vegas. Britney Spears married her old friend from school,
and after less than forty eight hours, she got divorced. Other
reasons for the high number of separation and divorce include
cases of adultery or concubinage.
Naturally, separation and divorce brings untold
anxiety not only upon the marriage partners, but often, more so
on the children. Having a divorce can be both unpredictable and
scary, for completing this whole process means the destruction
of the whole foundation of the family ---not to mention the staggering
costs of alimony and child support. Anxiety is present in divorce
discussions, since the couple are not in good terms. A marital
crisis is a family tragedy that would require years of emotional
healing, if only to regain the self-esteem and stability of every
person in the family.
Perhaps even more that the two involved in the
marriage, the ones who need emotional healing the most are the
children. Children are the least prepared to face serious emotional
and psychological trauma. Parents with divorced parents are almost
stricken with anxiety. The stress is often seen in their poor
performance in school and melancholic behavior at home. With low
self-esteem, many teenagers from broken homes resort to drugs
and join gangs to find a “substitute” home or family.
In any case, emotional healing is crucial if children are to be
prepared or rehabilitated from the emotional scars that were brought
about by their parents' failed marriage. While keeping the marriage
partnership intact may be the ideal, sometimes the avenue of divorce
is taken by couples to prevent their children from becoming “collateral
damage” in a situation where parents are constantly fighting.
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