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By Christina Rowe
Why does divorce turn ugly? What makes one partner
turn on the other? I have often pondered these questions. It amazes
me that two people who stood at the altar and vowed to be together
until death do us part,can ultimately destroy each other. While
I was married the thought of a couple going through a vicious
divorce made no sense to me. I always thought that when a couple
decided to divorce they should simply divide their assets in half
and part ways amicably. There was never a reason for a bitter
divorce, I naively thought. I was stunned when during my own divorce
my ex-husband refused to settle and split our assets. What followed
was a long, expensive legal battle.Never did I imagine that I
would be engaged in the same kind of divorce I once scorned. I
decided to research why divorce becomes ugly. I found that one
of the main causes of a bitter divorce is that one or both spouses
are receiving bad advice. Sometimes this advice comes from an
attorney. Other times it is from family members or friends. But
no matter who provided the advice, it is always received by an
angry,vengeful spouse. This is the spouse who feels betrayed,
who wants to hurt his or her mate. The spouse who cannot let go
and move on with his or her life. This person has a need to get
even and in the emotionally weak state one is left in during the
wake of a divorce, he or she is easy prey for a greedy divorce
attorney or a mother-in-law who hated her daughter-in -law from
day one. Are more men guilty of being unfair and using devious
tactics in divorce than women? I think the playing field is about
even. There are probably just as many woman as men who resort
to despicable behavior during divorce. You may be tempted to act
out and strike back at a husband that is causing you pain. Remember
that the more in control you are of your behaviors and actions,
the better you will come out in the end. You are being providing
with an inside view of what some men are capable of during divorce.
Some of this information is shocking and startling.You may think
that your ex would never do this to you. Hopefully he won’t.But
you need to be on guard and prepared for battle at all times.
The woman who have already suffered at the hands of a husband
who has played dirty tricks will tell you they never saw it coming.
Never in a millions years did they believe their husbands could
be capable of such actions.Yet it still happened to them. Be forewarned,armed
and ready. 5 Simple Rules To Follow During A Ugly Divorce: 1.
Watch who you confide in. You must be careful of who you tell
your divorce woes to someone who you consider a friend may pass
information either knowingly or unknowingly to your spouse. 2.
Do not try and reason with your spouse. Let your lawyer do the
talking for you.That is why you hired him. Engaging in conversations
with your husband about your divorce can make things a lot worse.
He may be setting you up. You cannot trust him. If you could then
your divorce would be settled by a mediator. 3. Be prepared financially.
Make sure you have the funds available to pay for your attorney’s
retainer fee and support you and your children.In my book “Seven
Secrets to a Successful Divorce-what every woman needs to know”
I go into great detail explaining what you need to do to protect
yourself financially. 4. Always control your emotions! Any out
of control behavior will cost you in the courtroom. You better
believe that your husband will be making a list of anything you
do that is questionable. Are you driving by his home? Calling
his cell phone? Harassing him by email? Your husband will use
these kinds of behaviors to portray you as an unfit mother, crazy
woman etc. 5. Be proactive and be involved in your divorce process.
You cannot depend on your divorce attorney to win your divorce
for you no matter how much you are paying him. Your lawyer cares
about his fee. This is his business, how he makes a living. He
is not your best friend, or confidante. What you can expect from
him is to represent you to the best of his abilities. You need
to become involved and stay in control of what goes on in your
case. I hope the information I have given you will help you prepare
for your divorce so that you may have the best possible divorce
outcome!
Article Source: http://www.article-matrix.com
Christina Rowe is the author of the new book "Seven Secrets To
A Successful Divorce-What Every Woman Needs To Know". Find out
the survival skills that will save you time, money and heartache
during your divorce. For your free chapter of the book go to:
www.secretsofdivorce.com
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