Jon
Arnold Divorce.
In the minds of many, this word conjures up images
of a husband and wife who are constantly at each other’s throats,
as well as labeling each as a failure and a loser. They do not
want to get a divorce but even the most casual observer would
look at their lives and wonder why the obvious action of divorce
has not been taken, since it seems like only a matter of time
before it does or at least should. Most people present an entirely
different picture of their marriage and level of happiness to
the outside than the one that is real. The reasons behind this
are made clear based on many studies that have been conducted.
Divorce is not a viable option because that would mean that one
or the other (or both) are inflexible, incapable of working out
differences, a failure, a bad decision maker, and a host of similar
self-degenerative thoughts. Those thoughts are counter-productive,
however, and you really need to look at your marriage and determine
if it is something you still want. When you were standing at the
altar all starry-eyed so many years ago, it seemed like the thought
of divorce could never be uttered from your lips, but things have
changed. Both of you have changed, and if you have changed in
different directions and now have different goals, or if the number
of things you have in common is now limited to one thing like
the weather, then perhaps it is time to look out for #1, since
ultimately, you are the only one who is truly responsible for
your own happiness. But it is a tough decision. Perhaps you feel
like you need to put up with it because you need the income that
your spouse’s job provides, or you need the health care insurance
their job provides. Is that an excuse, or have you really investigated
the alternatives? Are you capable of working or providing your
own health care, if you had to? And if you had to, yes your life
would be more hectic, but at the end of the day, would you be
happier than you are right now? These are all tough questions
but you need to ask yourself these questions and be honest with
yourself in your answers. The root cause can frequently be traced
back to a lack of communications between husband and wife. You
do not listen to what he says, and he does not listen to what
you tell him. Could things change? Of course they could, but not
until both spouses are fully aware of the problem, are willing
to admit consciously that a problem exists, and outline and FOLLOW
a plan to get things back on track. A marriage counselor or a
pastor is a great resource who can act as an objective outside
observer and offer suggestions. It will probably mean that both
of you will have to change some things about your behavior or
lifestyle, perhaps things that have become a habit as you have
grown apart. But both of you must want this to work – if only
one of you is cheering for the marriage to continue, it is doomed.
Evaluate all aspects of it and consider the ramifications, but
as I said earlier, you need to determine what is going to make
you happy, since you and only you have ultimate responsibility
for your own happiness.
Article Directory: http://www.articlecube.com Should you stay
or should you go? You need Divorce Advice to understand the things
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