| James
Walsh
A recent survey by Harvard University, revealed
that British couples in the age group between 25-35 are the most
likely to get divorced. The survey revealed that most of divorced
couples are white, belonging to affluent families and living in
British cities. Couples, in the process of getting divorced, frequently
state that they are not able to get along – they are incompatible
and do not see eye-to-eye on various issues including career,
finances, social responsibility and family life. Divorce rates
are lowest amongst middle aged couples. Thus, in a nutshell divorce
is rapidly becoming the crucial social issue having widespread
impacts on British society.
Divorce, in my view, occurs due to the immaturity
and rigidness of the couples involved. Marriage is not and will
never be a bed of roses. It is a path full of compromises and
adjustments. One needs to make adjustments, whether it is the
wife or the husband. Couples need to be mature and realize that
marriage is not life-long attraction and being romantic all the
time. According to a British divorce lawyer, couples often say
that they are not in love anymore and so, want to move on. I find
that reason to be ridiculous. Love is not a currency note which
can be abandoned and thrown away. Love is a lasting emotion which
goes through various peaks and lows in life. It takes on different
forms – passion, friendship, understanding, tolerance and
adjustment. If couples really understood the true meaning of love
and marriage, the incidence of divorce would decrease. Marriage
is a commitment and a responsibility and not a garment worn for
fun and pleasure. This has to be understood by young people and
inculcated into the foundation of the British society. People
need to understand that marriage is a long road where two people
walk experiencing different moods and attitudes.
Another reason behind the increasing divorce rate
in the UK is the age factor. Too many people are getting married
at a young age – just out of college in their teen years.
Again education and awareness needs to become the founding stone
of British society. In the end, it is up to the individual –
know oneself and then make the commitment.
There are cases when divorce is inevitable but,
even then, things can be worked out. The wife and husband can
be friends and go on joint outings where there are children involved.
There can also be alternatives like trial separations where the
couple truly realizes their needs and wants. Trial separation
allows the individual to have the time and space to decide if
divorce is the final solution – whether this is what he
or she wants. The concept of trial separation also lets children
get used to the idea of their parents staying separate. Trial
separation also allows parents to decide on the question of custody
of children. It prevents divorce proceedings from turning into
an ugly and nasty affair.
But, in the end, it is a matter of choice and
understanding. It depends on one’s focus in life. Passionate,
idyllic love lasts only for a short time and if one considers
that to be the bedrock of a marriage, then there is no stopping
the number of divorces.
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