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The bitter truth is that there is no way to stop
divorce if your spouse is determined to get divorced. Otherwise,
there are several ways to stop divorce. When you are in a worst
condition of getting divorce and you desperately want to stop
it, don't start thinking that you are the only one in this entire
world facing such problem. There are many married couples in this
entire world who are confused and not able to decide what is right
and what is wrong. In such case, you just need to take help from
an experience person who can easily solve your problem.So, whenever
a couple started having a problem or when there is a misunderstanding
between couples, contact a counselor at the early stage. Delay
in making the right decisions will make the condition worse. When
you find a counselor, try to find an experienced one at least
having five years or more experience. An expert divorce counselor
will first gather all the basic and needed information from the
couple separately. Once, the divorce counselor gathers all the
information, the first most important question the counselor will
ask is "Why the couple is here?". As answer to this
question, the couple will tell that their marriage is in trouble.
Some couple who desperately want a divorce will tell they want
a divorce. For such couples, there is no need for any counselor,
they need to take legal help from divorce attorney or divorce
lawyer. Divorce counselor is for the couple who are confused whether
to go for divorce or not. When a couple is in a dilemma whether
to go for divorce or not, there are the following conditions that
arise:
1.Husband wants to save the marriage, but he feels that wife wants
a divorce.
2.Wife wants to save the marriage, but she feels that husband
wants a divorce.
3.Both husband and wife want to save the divorce but both of them
feel that the other one wants the divorce.
4.Husband wants changes on wife.
5.Wife wants changes on husband.
6.Both husband and wife want changes on each other.
To know what the actual condition is, the counselor
should ask the following questions to both husband and wife:
1.How well the marriage is going on?
2.What are the things that are deteriorating your marriage?
3.How you can bring your marriage into the right track?
4.How long do you think it will take to bring back your marriage
into the right track?
It is impossible to determine whether a marriage
is worth saving until the couple understands what exactly is wrong.
Unfortunately, marriage counseling cannot be done in one week
or two. It takes time to know the exact scenario and how to bring
back to the right track. The counselor should give assignments
to both husband and wife. They should be given many questions
that should be answered in written. After analyzing the answers
of both husband and wife, the counselor will come to the conclusion
whether their marriage is worth saving or not. If the marriage
is worth saving, then the counselor will start concentrating on
the points that specify what the husband wants from the wife and
vice versa. After analyzing the points from husband and wife,
counselor will call one at a time either husband or wife. When
he talks with the wife, he will keep the points of the husband,
the list of things husband wants the wife to do and vice versa.
From the discussion with the husband and wife, the counselor comes
to the conclusion that there are many things which husband and
wife are ready to do to make each other happy but they did not
know about those things. And there are many other things which
husband and wife are ready to quit making each other happy but
they didn't know them earlier. This way, the counselor knows that
the marriage can be easily saved. But there are cases in which,
the couple is not ready to compromise for each other. In such
case, the counselor has to convince the couple individually, how
blissful their life can be if they can compromise each other.
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