| John
Furnem
Divorce is one of the hardest things a person
can go through, the destruction of a couple has in it the power
to destroy the individuals and it sometimes takes a long time
and a lot of energy to get back on your feet and start living
again. We all know that divorce is usually something that develops
over time, that the initial gaps grow wider and wider and eventually
cause the couple to separate from each other, many times this
is the last break finally resulting in divorce.
One thing that happens in many couples is the
separation phase that is usually the clear indicator that something
is seriously wrong in the relationship, and the reaction to separation
is as hard as it is to any bad news. There are many approaches
to separation and many ideas about what good or what bad may come
out of an initial separation, there are those who say that this
is actually the first step in divorcing, other say it is the first
step to negotiation and talk.
The idea of separation is usually brought up by
one of the partners and this creates a situation in which one
side is on the initiative and another is forced into an agreement
position, but this is not so, a separation has in it many small
details that need to be agreed on, especially if there are kids
involved and there are many points and issues that needs to be
discussed and addressed as the couple maintains a distance.
As a general rule, if you are suggested the idea
of separation try your best not to overreact and to understand
that this is the other side way of dealing with things, losing
control when this is suggested usually just makes things worst
and creates a sort of desperate situation in which many things
are said and regretted soon after. Do not push yourself into a
corner, remember that there is a chance that your partner will
want his or her own space and will ask for a separation, this
time will give both of you time to think and reassess the situation.
There are a lot of things you can do in this time
of the separation and there is a lot of time for the other side
to think about life without you, the time can be used to create
a nicer and friendlier atmosphere between the couple and create
a new beginning, which is not forced but chosen by each of the
partners, since you will be separated you will each have the power
to choose if you want to meet and for how long. You can control
the frequency of your meetings, and the time you spend together,
you can use this to try and show your good sides and the part
in you that wants to save the partnership.
To stop a divorce you will need a lot of strength
and determination, but it is possible to do, do not let a simple
request for a time off send you into an uncontrolled anger attack,
try and use each move to your benefit and plan your moves as you
save your marriage and stop your divorce.
John Furnem is a dot com veteran, specializing in personality
psychology he has written articles and held workshops/seminars
for stress management and divorce prevention. John currently writes
Stop A Divorce articles.
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