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The overall cost of your divorce can be impacted
by several behaviors you may be able to control. When a marriage
dissolves there are several important topics that need to be addressed
and sorted out such as child custody and visitation, division
of property, and support. Recognizing the following 4 behaviors
and how to manage them ahead of time may be able to help your
divorce lawyer properly gather the information he/she needs to
put your case together and can reduce your divorce costs at the
same time.
(1) Having unclear objectives
(2) Being overly enmeshed in your case
(3) Using your lawyer as a therapist
(4) Expecting justice in the courts
Having unclear objectives
One of the biggest mistakes you can make at the
outset of your divorce is to not know what it is you hope to accomplish.
Before you begin filing or responding to divorce motions, you
would be wise to discuss your goals, objectives, and what results
you can likely expect with your divorce lawyer. Having such a
discussion with your divorce lawyer can help reduce the chances
of unnecessary litigation, help you understand what you can likely
expect through your divorce, and what the costs may likely be.
Being overly enmeshed in your case
Divorce typically deals with topics that bring
about high emotions and intensity, which may result in a spouse
becoming overly indulged or enmeshed in his/her case. When this
happens, it is not uncommon for a spouse to supply large amounts
of irrelevant research material to his/her divorce lawyer, which
can drive up the costs of attorney fees. Additionally, a spouse
that is enmeshed in his/her case, may begin micromanaging their
divorce lawyer’s work, which can create more work for his/her
divorce lawyer and be counter productive. Setting clear objectives
and goals and knowing what to expect from your divorce lawyer
in advance can help reduce the tendency to become overly enmeshed
in your case.
Using your lawyer as a therapist
Due to the high emotions that typically go along
with divorce, it is not uncommon for spouses to begin venting
or discussing problems they had in their marriage or how they
feel about the other spouse with their divorce lawyer. Many times,
these types of discussions are strictly emotionally based, add
no value to the client’s case, and are discussion better
suited for a therapist, not a divorce lawyer. Divorce lawyers
are typically concerned with facts, not feelings. Additionally,
the time a spouse spends in these types of emotional communications
with his/her divorce lawyer can add up in costs very quickly.
Before initiating communication with your divorce lawyer, decide
if the communication is strictly to vent or to pass on worthwhile
information on to him/her.
Expecting justice in the courts
Spouses many times believe that if they can just
have their day in court, justice will prevail. Spouses who believe
that the courts are going to give them justice are often misguided
and end up extremely disappointed with the results. Better results
and happier divorce endings are often accomplished through mediation
and/or stipulated agreements. When a judge makes a decision, it
is rarely a win-win decision for both spouses. To manage your
expectations of justice in the family courts, you would be wise
to consult your divorce lawyer to help you determine what results
you can likely expect if your case goes to trial.
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