Dr
Mike Shery
I am a psychologist and marriage counselor in
the Woodstock-Cary-Algonquin-Lake in the Hills and Crystal Lake
area of Illinois. I find that there are 11 signs that indicate
you or your family members would benefit from counseling when
going through a divorce or separation.
What are these signs?
1.A relationship that is characterized by numerous
arguments and conflicts that are disruptive to the emotional status
of family members
2.A relationship which is saturated with strain,
bitterness and tension just below the surface
3.When the talk of separation causes fear and
anxiety in family members which significantly degrades the quality
of daily life
4.The childrens uncertainty and worry about which
ones will remain in the family home and which ones will re-locate
5. Children experiencing excessive stress, agitation,
acting-out or conflict about being separated from a parent or
sibling
6. Parents who should be separated but are still
living under the same roof because of logistical or financial
problems, thus causing increased coldness and estrangement in
the home
7. Conflicts, arguments and frustration caused
by a seriously compromised lifestyle engendered by financial stress
caused by the expense of operating two households
8. Symptoms of acting-out, depression, anxiety,
fear, rage, substance abuse or poor school performance in family
members
9. Anger, bitterness, arguments and frustration
caused by having to accommodate new step-parents, step-children
or step-siblings
10. Child management and discipline problems that
result from single parenting or lack of cooperation from the ex-spouse
11. Children that appear to be experiencing some
guilt or anxiety for the marital failure
If you experience any of these issues, you can
benefit from counseling. But if you begin, what can your counseling
accomplish? How will it benefit you?
1.You will learn how to nurture your kids and
reassure them that they are still loved and not responsible for
the marital discord.
2.You will learn to develop flexible living arrangements
that meet your kids needs.
3.If you and your partner are still living together,
practical and clear guidelines will be set-up to keep the situation
from getting more toxic.
4.You will discover how to integrate new additions
to the family resulting from remarriage or cohabitation.
5.You will develop a plan for cooperative parenting
that keeps you and your former spouse on the same page so conflicts
can be minimized.
6.Your children will learn to accept the break-up
as independent from anything they have ever said or done.
7.Your therapist may prescribe daily affirmations
or motivating thoughts so that your subconscious mind really believes
that you do not have to worry about the separation. When your
subconscious believes it, your everyday mind will follow and the
anxiety will disappear
10.The therapist may prescribe some articles or
books for you to read about surviving divorce and ask that you
select relevant concepts to discuss in your counseling session.
11.Your therapist will likely help you to develop
an awareness of your fear of independence triggers and constructive
ways to manage them.
12.You may be asked to write about how your unsatisfactory
marriage contributed to your anxieties and those of your family
members and how your divorced state may enhance your emotional
recovery and that of your children.
13.Your therapist will assist you in developing
insight into any personal or career changes that may be needed
in order to maximize the success of your newly separated living
situation.
15.You may be encouraged to increase your awareness
of how your upbringing may have affected the way you behave in
relationships. Often a traumatic past may linger or even lurk
into your present, thereby encouraging a pattern of dysfunctional
relationships.
16.In helping you to manage a traumatic past,
your therapist may help you identify the role you played in your
family of origin, the feelings associated with it and the way
it may impact your current or future relationships.
17.The therapist may help you to identify self-defeating
patterns relevant to the way you operate in relationships and
suggest ways of modifying them so they are not repeated.
18.You will identify sources of ongoing support
and reassurance to help you in effectively curtailing and managing
your anxiety about starting anew.
Article Source: http://www.articles-galore.com Dr Shery is in
Cary, IL, near Algonquin, Crystal Lake, Marengo and Lake-in-the-Hills.
He's an expert marriage counselor and psychologist. Call 1 847
516 0899 and make an appt or learn more about counseling at: www.nextdayappointment.com
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