Jon
Arnold
When you are standing at the altar saying “I
do” with 300 of your friends and family around you, the
very last thing on your mind is the possibility of a divorce in
your future. Damn the statistics, it cannot happen to me, you
think.
Think again. Recent studies have shown that the
divorce rate is almost at the 50% mark for couple being married
in the past 5 years. What is the cause of that? Are people being
too reckless with their commitments? Do people really think that
the love they feel will see them through anything?
The biggest problem leading to divorce is a lack
of communication between the partners. It really is a partnership,
where each needs to know what the other is doing and thinking
on a regular basis, as in daily. You need to make sure that you
are both marching to the same drummer with the same goals in sight,
both short term goals as well as long term goals, and without
that communication, divorce is almost inevitable.
Is this a difficult thing? It should not be, but
in today’s world where most households have both spouses
working, it can prove to be difficult. When both spouses arrive
at home after a long hard day at work, both are tired, perhaps
irritable, neither feels like fixing dinner, and communication
can often be the last thing on either one’s mind. Yet if
that communications does not happen, it is inevitably that the
two of you will take different paths, start creating separate
goals, and pretty soon you find that divorce is the only viable
answer, since your paths have parted so widely that there is little
chance your paths will ever rejoin.
Divorce can be a comparatively simple procedure
or it can be long and drawn out. It is in your best interests
to get a good divorce lawyer. Really? Yes really. If the communications
between you and your spouse have broken down to put you on separate
paths, you cannot be sure of what your spouse will require or
demand in the divorce process. Make sure you do not get hosed
in that process, and without a good divorce attorney, that can
easily happen before you are even aware of it.
Things can get messy if children are involved
or there is a fair amount of capital holdings that were acquired
since the wedding day. But even these items can be negotiated
and worked out with good divorce attorneys, plus the desire to
“just get it over with peacefully” on the part of
both spouses.
If divorce is really the best or only option available
to you, plan it with the same attention to detail that you used
when you planned your wedding. Preparation and a thorough knowledge
of what is involved and what can be negotiated is paramount in
making sure that you don’t walk away with absolutely nothing.
Almost anything is negotiable as far as “who gets what”,
but be very clear on what are your rights, what are the rights
of your spouse, and how to effectively manage the division of
assets, including cash, stocks, and bonds.
Jon is a computer engineer who maintains many websites to pass
along his knowledge, experience, information, and findings. You
can read more about Divorce and Divorce Law at his web site at
www.my-divorce-guide.com
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