Christina
Rowe
Dealing with a divorce is difficult for everyone,
including the kids. It is a life altering event that can take
a toll emotionally and physically . This is especially true for
children. Children need additional support during this tough time.
They need to know and understand that it is not their fault and
that both parents still love them very much.
You and your soon to be ex are going to have to
work hard at putting aside your anger and hard feelings toward
each other. If the both of you can sit down and make arrangements
for the children, it will be much easier, less painful and less
expensive than having to go into court and having the court decide
custody arrangements for you. .
You should not keep the divorce a secret from
the children. You need to explain to them what a divorce is and
what is going to happen. Try to give them some notice and time
to adjust before you or your spouse moves out of the martial home.
This way the children can have time to deal with it and ask questions.
Reassure the children that both parents are still going to be
there for them and that the divorce is in no way their fault.
When you talk to your kids about the divorce,
do not blame your spouse or badmouth him. It is important that
the children know that they still have two dependable and trustworthy
parents that love them and will be there to take care of them.
Be truthful, but spare the details about the divorce.
Often children will secretly hope that their parents
are going to get back together. You want to make it clear to them
that you are not going to reconcile, but that you hope to remain
friends. Tell them that there is nothing that they can do to change
the situation. Also make it clear to them where they are going
to live and when they will be able to see the other parent. If
your spouse has a new apartment or house, make sure he takes the
kids to visit it. This will make it less traumatic for them when
they spend their first overnight visit there. Providing the kids
with a sense of security is crucial. Give them the opportunity
to ask you any questions that they may have.
Giving the child the right information but not
too much information is important. You want to minimize their
worry and anxiety. Despite your best efforts, expect that your
children will go through some rough patches during the divorce.
This is a major upheaval in their lives. Children do not like
change and it will take time for them to accept this new way of
life.
Article Directory: http://www.articlecube.com Christina Rowe
is the author of "Seven Secrets To A Successful Divorce-What
Every Woman Needs To Know". Find out the survival skills
that will save you time, money and heartache during your divorce.
For your free chapter of the book go to: www.secretsofdivorce.com
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