dave4
Any child going through a divorce is going to
experience some emotional pain, feelings of loss, sadness, frustration
and possibly abandonment or rejection. As parents it is important
to help children through this difficult time in their lives and
to protect them as much as possible from the divorce process itself,
as well as the changes that will occur, both now and in the future.
As a parent there are several things that you
can do to help your children get through the divorce with as little
difficulty as possible. Both parents working together on this
goal can make it even easier for the children.
Love
Children at this time need even more love from
parents than they did prior to the divorce. This means telling
your children every chance to get that you love them, think of
them often, and will always be there for them. Try spending some
extra one-on-one time with your kids and encourage them to talk
about their concerns or fears.
Support and security
Just like love, kids need to feel that they are
supported, secure and safe during the divorce. Often children
feel very insecure about their relationship with one or both of
the parents, and may feel that the parent that moves out of the
house has rejected them. Talk to the children about the divorce,
and explain that both parents will still be very involved in their
lives. Show children your support and commitment to them by being
there, and following through on any plans or events. Children
may also feel that the custodial parent may not have the financial
means to support them, especially if money is an issue in the
divorce or in the disagreements leading up to the divorce. Assure
your children that you have this under control. Children should
not feel concern over financial affairs; they need to know that
Mom and Dad have this handled.
Avoid conflict
Children need to see that Mom and Dad still can
work together to be good parents. Kids should never be exposed
to fighting, negative comments about the other parent, or conflict
between parents. If you have a high-conflict situation try exchanging
the children at a neutral spot like a restaurant, or perhaps leave
the children with a friend and have the other parent pick them
up there so you don't have to meet face to face. It is critical
that children not be exposed to the stress and anxiety of parental
conflict.
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