How
do you spare your preschoolers for the negative effects of divorce?
How do you promote your preschooler's healthy growth and development?
The answer is appropriate divorce parenting practices. The next
question is what appropriate divorce parenting practices for preschooler
really means? Let's keep things simple. All you need to know is
learn how divorce affect your children. Knowing how preschoolers
react to divorce will bring you to a better position of knowing
the best appropriate divorce parenting practices you can give
for your child.So let's get started. How is preschoolers affected
by divorce? Preschoolers commonly experience regression during
parents' divorce.
Children whose parents are in conflict regress
to thumb-sucking, bed-wetting and other behaviors their parents
assume they've outgrown.Children at this developmental stage may
think they are responsible for their parents' divorce or for their
parents not living together. As a corollary to the perception
that their misbehavior caused the divorce or caused a separation,
preschool children often believe that if they are really good,
everything will be okay again. This can be an incredibly stressful
perception for a little kid, because he or she begins to carry
on his or her shoulders the burden of getting mom and dad back
together again. Preschoolers may be confused, have fantasizes
about reconciliation, and show difficulties in expressing their
feelings. Their sense of security is affected by predictable and
consistent routines.Preschoolers may fear being left alone or
abandoned altogether and may worry about the changes in their
daily lives.
They may deny that anything has changed, or they
may become uncooperative, depressed, or angry. Although they want
the security of being near an adult, they may act disobedient
and aggressive.Preschoolers exhibit signs of sadness and grieving
because of the absence of one parent. Preschoolers may be aggressive
and angry toward the parent they blame. Now that you know how
preschoolers react to divorce, I'm sure a lot of ideas come to
your mind on what divorce parenting practices is best appropriate
for preschoolers. To add up to your list of ideas, here below
are some of the things you should do to help your preschoolers
adjust to divorce.· Repeatedly tell children that they
are not responsible for the divorce.
Children need to be reassured that the breakup
wasn't their fault. · Discourage reconciliation fantasies.
Avoid dinners, outings, or holiday celebrations with your ex-spouse;
they only fuel your child's fantasies. Instead, emphasize the
finality of divorce· Keep daily routines intact. Children
feel more secure when there is a standard routine.
Stick with bedtimes, no matter at which home the
children are. Have some consistent chores. Have some time committed
to the child, which is treated as sacred. · Reassure children
that everything will be ok, just different. Children are invariably
frightened and confused by divorce.
It's a threat to their security. Provide extra
hugs and kisses and tell your child that you and other adults
will always be near to love and protect· Explain what is
happening over and over again. Children this age are confused
easily. In simple terms, explain where your child will live, with
whom, where the departing parent will live, and who will provide
care when both parents are unavailable. · Encourage your
child to talk about how he/she feels.
Be sensitive to children's fears. Let your child
know that he or she can openly talk to you about the ups and downs
of your separation or divorce. · Encourage the child to
carry photographs and other keepsakes of the custodial parent
when he or she leaves home to visit with the non-custodial parent.
Conversely, encourage the child to keep a photograph of his or
her non-custodial parent in a visible place at home.· Be
sensitive to children signs of depression and fear. Seek professional
help if depression is prolonged or intense.· Help non-custodial
parent stay involve.
Let non-custodial parent maintain a regular presence
such as a phone call several times each week, messages sent on
video or audiotapes. · Plan a schedule of time for children
to spend with their other parent. Be supportive of children's
ongoing relationship with the other parent. Remember that children
generally fare best when they have the emotional support and ongoing
involvement of both parents. If you have difficulty relating to
your former spouse then get your free copy of my ebook "8
Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Just
visit my website and get the said ebook for free.You can learn
more divorce parenting practices appropriate for children of any
age in my ebook "101 Ways To Raise 'Divorced' Children to
Successfully." This ebook is a divorce parenting guide that
offers many proven ways that will not only help you help your
children but will also guide you on how to deal with yourself
and your former ex-spouse for your children's sake.
Thus, giving you complete information on how to
raise healthy, happy and successful children even if you're divorced.
For more information, please visit my website.With the above information,
I hope you will become an empowered divorced parent and believe
that you can raise healthy, happy and successful children even
if you're divorce. Copyright by . All Rights Reserved.Publishing
Rights: You have permission to publish this article electronically,
in print, in your ebook or on your website, free of charge, as
long as the author's information and web link are included at
the bottom of the article. The web link should be active when
the article is reprinted on a web site or in an email.
Minor edits and alterations are acceptable so
long as they do not distort or change the content of the article..
Ruben Francia is an author of an indispensable divorce parenting
guide ebook, entitled "101 Ways To Raise Your 'Divorced'
Children To Success". Get his other ebook for FREE, "8
Essential Steps to Cooperative Parenting and Divorce." Visit
his web site at http://www.101divorceparenting.com
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