CHAPTER
FOUR - Ready To Move Forward
Developing
A “Plan of Action“
Believe it
or not, most people contemplating divorce tend to focus on getting
away from the arguments and all of the other aversive things in
their relationship and miss a whole lot of very important issues
with long term consequences. Often the desire to escape the acrimony,
leads people to make very poor decisions such as walking away
from child support or an equitable financial settlement.
If this is
where you are at, you need to continue reading and pay attention
to the following list of things that need to be taken into consideration
before you speak to your spouse about ending your marriage.
FREE:
IMPORTANT INFORMATION
Here
are some of the things people do during the divorcing process
that cost them a lot of money:They
under-estimate their spouse’s reaction to the divorce -
they fail to recognize how upset their spouse really is
-
They assume that being reasonable and conciliatory with an unreasonable
spouse will lead to an equitable settlementThey erroneously
believe that the court will provide justice
-
They erroneously believe that the divorce laws which espouse
equity will prevail
-
They do not provide their attorneys with realsitic or factual
information about their situationl
-
They fail to understand that with divorce new boundaries need
to be established - that things change when a couple separates
and when divorce proceedi
-
They sabotage their attorney’s efforts to represent them
effectively by sharing information with their spouse, by not
allowing the attorney to word documents in a particular way
or by not following through with attorney’s advice
-
They fail to provide clear and ambiguous instructions to their
attorneys
-
They erroneously believe that they do not need to be actively
involved in their case ”
Getting
Divorced Can Be Expensive - So Being Prepared is Essential!
I can tell
you that there is no absolute way to guarantee that your divorce
will go smoothly or without a hitch. However, I can also tell
you that there things people do that almost always guarantees
that they won’t. I am here to help you lessen the chances
of things going badly.
First of all,
did you know that a contested divorce could easily cost you $30,000
or MORE?
Are you shocked?
Don’t be.
Think about
it - the average hourly fee for a divorce attorney is $175. When
you consider that you will be charged for every moment an attorney
works on your file (doing research, preparing documents, making
phone calls, communicating with the opposing attorney, dictating
letters, reviews correspondence and court documents, meetings),
you can start to see how quickly a legal bill can be run up.
If you are
interested in saving yourself a bundle of money in your divorce,
then you will be interested in reading Michael Daniel’s
ebook, “How
To Legally Save Yourself Thousands of Dollars on Your Divorce”.
As a co-author of one of my own books, I know that Michael is
an impeccable researcher and his material is superb.
Here are just
a few of the topics Michael covers in his ebook:
- What is
the most effective techniques to finding a GREAT lawyer?
- What should
you watch out for when you first meet your lawyer?
- Three
things make the biggest difference to your divorce costs. And
what to do about them?
- What does
your lawyer NOT want you to find out? And why should you find
out anyway?
- Why are
divorce costs often under reported?
- Discover
some amazing things your lawyer WILL charge you for?
- Charges
you would be crazy not to know about before hand.
- What should
you NEVER discuss with your lawyer? It’s not what you
think!
Getting good
legal advice is very expensive. These days, attorneys’ fees
start at $150 per hour and could go as high as $600 per hour depending
on the attorney’s experience and location. So when you come
across divorce books written by attorneys, then I would strongly
suggest having a look at them.
Here are two
other ebooks that I think are worth mentioning, mainly because
they are written by attorneys and they each provide advice from
a legal perspective in a way that a consumer can understand. Both
these attorneys offer their legal expertise as well as years working
with divorcing clients to inform them about what they need to
know about getting divorced.
Here is a
very worthwhile ebook written by an attorney. “The
Tao of Divorce” by Stephen Fuchs gives you
the straight goods based on years of experience representing divorcing
clients. You will learn how to survive the divorcing process by
preparing yourself effectively for the often stressful and grueling
challenges associated with the legalities of divorce. This ebook
is worth its weight in gold and costs just a fraction of what
you would pay for a consultation with a lawyer.
The Divorce
Primer: Divorce Basics for the Consumer is another excellent book
written by an attorney. Jean Mahserjian, a divorce and family
lawyer helps make sense of what the divorcing process is. In very
plain and non legalistic language she demystifies what is involved
in getting divorced. I really like the ebook because it offers
people options at a time when having choices are most appreciated.
FREE
TIPS ON PREPARING TO SEPARATE
Take
an inventory of your personal and joint assets and liabilities
(don’t assume that you will have another opportunity to
do so once you are out of the home)
Get
a handle on your personal and joint finances (get a list of bank
accounts, credit cards, stocks, investments etc.)
Arrange
to take your name off your spouse’s credit cards
Develop
a realistic budget to carry you during the next few months
Arrange
for a preliminary consult with an attorney
Realistically
assess the level of acrimony in your divorce - this step is critical
because if you under-estimate things, it could cost you thousands
as well as your relationship with your children.
Consider
your future living arrangements -unless you are the one planning
to move out of the family home, consider having PlanA & Plan
B - don’t assume that your spouse will necessarily agree
to your wanting to remain in the home.
Only
after you have done the above, should you consider telling your
spouse that you want to end your marriage. | 
