CHAPTER
EIGHT - When The Dust Settles…
Even the ugliest and most acrimonious divorces
do finally come to an end. And when they do, many are left wondering,
is there life after divorce? And if there is, what will it be
like and how does one move on?
After all the months (and for some - years) of
legal wrangling, there is an almost empty feeling when it is finally
over. The challenge for many is to be able to pick up the pieces,
reconstruct lives and to move on. This is often easier said than
done.
Because prolonged contested divorces tend to be
expensive, there is almost always a significant financial hit
to be dealt with once the final legal bills are dealt with. That’s
not to mention regrouping after the settlement figures are established.
Getting
Involved in a Relationship - Again
Most separated people do not follow this advice
- however, I will give it anyway. For the record, it is best to
give yourself at least a year to decompress following a marital/relationship
break-up. Why?
There are a number of reasons but the main one
is that the stress and emotion associated with separating often
clouds one’s thinking when it comes to relationships. And
although there is often a huge pull to be connected to someone
caring, if you haven’t completely closed the door on one
relationship, it may cause you to get involved in another for
the wrong reasons.
It is also important for people to take the time
to get to know themselves and their own needs. The best way to
do that is to be by themselves because it is only then, can they
really get in touch with who they are - without outside interference
or distractions.
Finally, if there are children, they will likely
need your attention. Having a new relationship brewing will not
only be a distraction but it will most certainly be a source of
jealousy for your children.
To learn more
about the process of rebuilding your life following divorce, check
out “There
is Life After What's His Name”and " Coping
with Divorce". These are eBooks that help people
regain control and confidence in their lives.
AFTERWORD
I hope you
found this “The Divorce and Custody Resource Handbook”
of benefit as you embark on a challenging period in your life.
Please do not delete this ebook. You see, I will
be updating the links in it from time to time. In that way your
ebook will stay current with information as it becomes available.
I will also contact you about revised versions as they become
available.
Before you
close this ebook, here is one more important resource –
a list of “free” divorce, custody and relationship
articles. Please return to this list from time to time as I am
continually updating it. I am sure you will find this a helpful
and information.
I welcome
your comments and suggestions as I am committed to making this
document as responsive as possible to the needs of people going
through divorce.
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