Being
in a loveless marriage is a frustrating predicament, but it may
not necessarily mean that a divorce is eminent. Solving the quandary
of a loveless marriage requires self-reflection to assess the
situation, courage to try to create a team effort for the best
decision with your spouse, and gumption to face the reality that
a divorce may be the best solution for the loveless marriage.But,
before you jump right to the easy way out and decide on divorce,
you should got through the process of making sure that you have
logically thought through long-term implications of ending the
loveless marriage.Being in a loveless marriage and deciding whether
to get a divorce based on this one fact alone is a misuse of an
opportunity. Its not like deciding whether to stay married due
to an extramarital affair or other marriage problems like abuse
or living in a sexless marriage, choosing the right divorce decision
when it comes to a loveless marriage is a totally different situation.
The opportunity is great to grow personally that is present when
you're deciding about divorce because of being in a loveless marriage.
Let's take a look at some of the items that are relevant to this
situation regarding a loveless marriage and how you can approach
this time in your life from a mature standpoint and come to the
right choice while growing at the same time.Loveless marriage
item 1: Define love as you see it and assess whether or not your
spouse agrees somewhat with you, at least in a complementary fashion.
For a loveless marriage to be assessed properly,
making sure your idea or definition of love is "clear"
is a solid way to make sure that you know what you've lost. And,
if your spouses idea of what love is differs from yours so much
that you both can't somewhat reap the benefits of love, you may
need counseling to get to the root issue of your loveless marriage.Loveless
marriage item 2: Make sure that you are in fact out of love before
you go further with steps to divorce or try to work it out.Ask
yourself, "Am I really out of love or am I giving up?".
Keeping love alive can take work and strong communication with
yourself and spouse. List the reasons why you think you're out
of love and decide if those reasons prohibit a rekindling of love,
assuming you were actually in love at some point. Being in a loveless
marriage doesn't necessarily mean that it has to stay that way!Loveless
marriage item 3: Decide if you were ever really in love as you
define love.
Your loveless marriage could have always been
loveless, you may have just been to distracted to notice. You
may have received other benefits from being with your spouse in
the past that you aren't getting now and that could be why you're
frustrated and living in a loveless marriage. Of course, if you
were in fact in love with your spouse at one time in the past,
you both might not have done what needs to be done to keep love
alive. Before you do anything about your loveless marriage, make
sure you understand how your idea of love may have changed over
time, and really contemplate if you were really ever in love.Loveless
marriage item 4: Assessing whether or not you need to be in love
to stay married and if so, can your love be re-kindled?This item
regarding a loveless marriage is a crucial point in your decision
making process. Some people stay married even when they are in
a loveless marriage because the benefits they get from being married
psychologically outweigh the need for love.
These benefits could many things and could stem
from lack of self confidence, money, fear of loneliness, etc.
If you're a person who needs love to stay married, make sure that
you really think about how rejuvenate the love in your loveless
marriage before you decide on divorce. If you're struggling regarding
a decision about your loveless marriage, it means that it is worth
fighting for. If you really do soul searching and talk with your
spouse openly about the lack of zest in your marriage in the hopes
of making it better, you may find that your spouse feels the same
way that you do! Being a loveless marriage can be a drain on your
day to day energy if you need love to stay happily married. If
your marriage is worth it to you, be mature about the situation
and do all you can to rekindle the love before you do anything
else.
If you do, you'll grow personally as will your
spouse regardless whether or not you get a divorce..
Karl Augustine Author, "A Practical Guide To Deciding Whether
Or Not To Get A Divorce". *A resource recommended by marriage
counselors to their clients.http://www.deciding-on-divorce.com/loveless-marriage.htm | 
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