Karl
Augustine, Sat Dec 10th
Deciding about whether you should get a divorce
or not is anagonizing experience to go through. If you are asking
yourself"should I get a divorce?", you've been thinking
about yourrelationship's state for a while or an isolated incident
(anexample is an extramarital affair) that occurred was soterrible,
that you want to just chuck it all and start over witha new life!
If you have been asking yourself "should
I get a divorce?" forany length of time, you should figure
out what is making youfeel that way if you haven't already. Take
the time to reflectback on why you're leaning towards divorce
rather than workingout your marriage problem. Once you identify
the things that aremaking you feel like divorce is the right option,
make a list ofthose things.
Once you make that list, go back through each
item on the listthat led you to asking yourself the question "should
I get adivorce?". Look at each item on the list in depth
and makecertain you really deem those items as valid reasons for
wantinga divorce, either in and of themselves or as a part of
a commontheme of reasons that make up a whole set.
Once you trim the list down to include only truly
'validreasons', rank each reason in order of importance. Identify
2reasons that hold the most weight to you and that contributedmost
to you asking yourself "should I get a divorce?".
After you accomplish this, decide if these reasons
seem likethings that can be changed for the better or if they
are justflat out unrecoverable. Soul search and decide whether
or notyou are willing to do what it takes to try and fix the problemthat
is associated with these reasons.
Example: If one of your reasons for thinking about
divorce isbecause your spouse is insanely jealous of you having
friendlyand/or purely plutonic relationships with members of theopposite
sex, decide whether or not you are willing to socializeless with
members of the opposite sex (or in a different manner)or do what
it takes to ensure that your spouse understands andbelieves that
you truly love him/her. If you aren't willing todo either of those
things (or anything else it may take tochange the situation),
you have some serious long-term thinkingto do about whether you
really want to stay married.
If you have been asking yourself "should
I get a divorce?" dueto one isolated incident, you should
re-live that isolatedincident in your mind and identify why the
isolated incident ledyou to the way that you feel now.
List the top 5 reasons that this incident hurt
you to the extentit did (thinking about divorce). Then, think
about what you feelthe top 5 reasons are that led to the actual
incident itself.
This is especially crucial because, even though
it may be oneisolated incident that caused you to think about
divorce as anoption, the reasons that led to that isolated incident
may havebeen present for quite a while and need to be dealt with.
Thepoint is, just because one isolated incident 'happened', doesn'tmean
the execution of that incident is the true cause of theproblem.
Chances are there's much more to it, and finding outwhat those
things are will help you identify the true story.
If you have been asking yourself "do I want
a divorce?" andhaven't prioritized why you feel that way,
you aren't ready fordivorce. What you are ready for however, is
to go through soulsearching to get to the root of the problem.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
About the author:Author of "A Practical Guide To Deciding
Whether Or Not To Get ADivorce", the eBook recommended by
counselors to thier clients.Proven "Actions Items" to
help you decide!br> Deciding on Divorce
| 
Overview
